I think my mom loves me. Or hates me.

Ok, my mom can be purty cool. Y'all know that. Well, yesterday she brought me a toy. And it squeaks. A lot. I played with it and tried to get the squeaker out, but you know what? That durn thing has 562,394 squeakers in it. Mom says there is only 8, but I don't believe her. I been chewin and chewin and only got off 1 leg and the hat. I took it down to the goats, but they didn't care. All they wanted was their crack. I showed it to them horses, but I had to tell them that they couldn't play with it. They would just stomp it anyway.

So, anyways, now I am tryin to decide if mom loves me the most or if she is trying to make me crazy with all these squeakers. Cause sometimes, when I am sleepin, she sneaks over and steps on that thing and makes all those squeakers go off and scares Bubba and reminds me that I got to get them squeakers out of there.

Whew! Finally!

Well, I finally got my mom to help me write on my blog. I got lots of stuff to tell. First, I got bad news. My Pawpaw went to heaven. I really miss him. I been wonderin why he left. I think maybe cause Stoopid Goose was causing Jesus a lot of problems and so Jesus asked Pawpaw to come and help. That is the only thing I can figure out cause Stoopid is probly causing a lot of ruckus.

Well, since Pawpaw went to Heaven, his dog (my cousin) had to come live at our house. His name is Bubba and he is a Basset Hound. That means he is short and fat with long ears that get in the water when he drinks. It kinda makes our water taste like ears. Anyway, me and Bubba are pretty good buds. Cept, sometimes he tries to go to out the door first and I have to remind him that I am the boss. He can be the boss over Rudy and Miracle. But not Puss, cause only Puss is the boss of Puss. Not even Mom.

Let me tell you about Bubba. He is a little weird. He likes to eat the goat's food. And when he runs, his whole body flaps around and he looks like a goob. And he has a hard time jumping up the steps. I think that is cause his legs are only 2 inches long. And his body is 14 feet long and his ears are a mile. He makes me laugh when he barks at the horses. Like they are even scared of him! Puleeze. They know they better mind me.

Well, I need to go for now cause it is time to feed the goats and chickens and chase the horses and find sticks to chew up. I'll be back.

Got a shot in the butt at my Party

OMG! OMG! I am having a real good day! First, me and my dad went and got breakfast. I got a sausage biscuit cause that is my favorite. Chalupa and Rudy got one too even though I told dad they didn't need it.

After we got home, mom fixed some towels in the backseat of her new car and told me and Rudy that we was goin somewhere. YAY! That is the first time I got to ride in the new car. So anyway, me and Rudy got in the backseat. Mom rolled down the back window for me to stick my head out. We all left and when we got to town, Mom didn't stop at Co-Op or at Jack's. She just kept goin! I thought we was goin to Pawpaw's, but she didn't turn there either. She turned down this long curvy road and we went about 5,629 miles. Then we pulled up to this place where some people was. I think it was a party for me! Dad put that string on my collar before we got out. He called it a "leash". I think he did that so I wouldn't lose him around all them people. He kinda wanders away sometimes.

Anyway, when we got out, my Pawpaw and his dog, Bubba, magically appeared! I ain't sure how Pawpaw does them tricks, but he is pretty good. So we walked over to these people and started talkin to 'em. Mom signed some stuff while I introduced myself to them. They thought I was "a hoot". I don't know what that means, but it must be good. I got to meet some other dogs too. There was one that had a LOT of fur. I was so embarrassed cause Rudy was sniffin that dog's hind end. Jeez! Then there was a puppy that was kinda big. And there was one that wouldn't get out of his mom's car. I guess he was mad cause the party wasn't for him.

After I met everyone, this real nice lady came and gave me a shot in the butt. She said I was Good Dog cause I didn't move or nothin. They gave one to Rudy and Bubba too. They was pretty good I guess. Then I got a pretty red heart to go on my collar and another tag that will help me get home if somebody dog-naps me. It was a fun party! We got snacks too. And lots of petting.

When it was time to go, I called shot gun so I got to ride in the front seat all the way home! Dad and Rudy had to ride in the back. Haha!

Imma Chicken Hero

I think chickens are just plain dumb. My mom has some goofy little chickens with funny feathers all over their heads. They look like they have sticky up hair dos. Anyway, they got out of their cage this mornin and was runnin all over the yard. My mom was chasin 'em and hollerin at 'em and they just was runnin from her. See! Dumb! So, mom caught them and put them in another pen and when I counted, there was one missin. Mom said it was prolly gone for good and just to not worry.

I decided to patrol the yard and make sure everthing was ok. I saw that bad little cat, Weagle and I went to see what he was doin. Guess what I found? Yep! That baby chicken! Weagle had been watching him, so I made him leave and I waited right there with him til my mom got over there. She was surprised that I found him and was keepin him safe for her. And she was surprised that Weagle didn't eat him!

So, I am the hero again today. I like bein the hero. I really need a cape!

I got more goats!

I got to tell ya'll about the new goats my mom and dad got. They are crazy! It is a boy, Pedro, and a girl, Bambi, and they are bigger than the little baby goat, Brother. My dad brought them in their pen to show 'em to Brother and I went in to make sure they didn't hurt him. Well, them crazy goats ran around and when I tried to make them go over to Brother, they just fell over like they was dead! I didn't touch 'em or nothin! They just got real stiff and *plunk* fell over. They got back up after a minute and ran some more. My mom and dad was laughing and I am glad they weren't mad at me, cause I thought I had broke 'em and I would be in big trouble. Mom said they are Faintin Goats and that they will do that when they are scared. I think that is just weird.

They got another little goat the other day too. She is a little girl named Burrito and she hops all over the pen like a bunny rabbit. And she hollers for them other goats.

Now we have 4 goats. Brother, Pedro, Bambi and Burrito. The other little baby girl goat died and went to heaven. Her name was Sister. We cried and cried, but now I am watchin them other ones to make sure nothin happens to them.

I gotta go and make the rounds and check on everbody.

Taz

My new babies

Ya'll ain't gonna believe what my Mom and Dad brought me. They went and got 2 little baby goats! They are so dang cute. Mom ain't named 'em yet, so I just call 'em babies.

This is me and the girl baby. She is real sweet. She lets me lick her ears. She is real little and drinks out of a bottle. It's kinda funny, though. The other day, I tasted that bottle and it was a little good and a lot gross. I think Mom ought to put some chocolate in there to make it taste better. I wonder if goats can eat chocolate. I can't cause it is bad for me.

This is me guardin' the baby boy. He is a little bit bigger and he is gettin' little horns on his head! They are all pointy and hurt when he punches me with his little head. He punched Kizzie right in her head and made her so mad. She didn't even speak to him all day! He drinks a bottle too.

You know what else? Them little babies eat grass and sticks! Evertime Mom and Dad take them to their pen, they go in there and eat whatever is growin. Mom said they are s'posed to do that, but I don't believe her. That is just weird.

I better go for now. Them babies are sleepin, so I need to take a nap while I have time. Ya never know when they are gonna wake up hollerin for a bottle.

Taz

I hate babysittin.

Ya'll 'member Shannon? The feller that I used to live with? Well, he got 2 new dogs. Their names is Jasmine and Bullet. They are pit bulls like me and they are still puppies. But they ain't as fun as me or as cute. Anyway, Shannon put them in that old pen he built for me. Ha! They found that hole that makes it easy for them to escape. And guess where they came. YEP. Right over here to my house. And they got to come in the house. My mom and dad musta lost their minds. Member what happened the last time Shannon had a dog? Yeah, I ran away! And stayed here!!!

So them dogs came in here and sniffed around and made Chalupa mad and she fussed and griped the whole time. Kizzie ran and got in the big bed so they couldn't get in it. Rudy stayed close to me and tried to help me watch them bad little puppies. Let me tell you, it ain't easy babysittin. Them puppies tried to love on my mom and I had to make 'em move. Then they ate all the food in my bowl! The little pigs. And they scared Lewie and he ran to hide in the closet. Finally, I just let them play and me and Dad and Rudy sat on the couch and watched them. They wasn't real bad then. They just 'splored the livin room.

After about 10 years and 3 days, Shannon came to get them. He told 'em they wasn't supposed to get out of their pen and they looked like they didn't know what he was talkin about. (They ain't real smart.) Then they ran out to the truck and I heard their momma yellin at em to get in the truck. I don't think Bullet did, cause she was hollerin at him the whole time. I told Shannon he owed me $500 million dollars for babysittin and he said he would pay me tomorrow. I just don't believe him though.