I think my mom loves me. Or hates me.

Ok, my mom can be purty cool. Y'all know that. Well, yesterday she brought me a toy. And it squeaks. A lot. I played with it and tried to get the squeaker out, but you know what? That durn thing has 562,394 squeakers in it. Mom says there is only 8, but I don't believe her. I been chewin and chewin and only got off 1 leg and the hat. I took it down to the goats, but they didn't care. All they wanted was their crack. I showed it to them horses, but I had to tell them that they couldn't play with it. They would just stomp it anyway.

So, anyways, now I am tryin to decide if mom loves me the most or if she is trying to make me crazy with all these squeakers. Cause sometimes, when I am sleepin, she sneaks over and steps on that thing and makes all those squeakers go off and scares Bubba and reminds me that I got to get them squeakers out of there.

Whew! Finally!

Well, I finally got my mom to help me write on my blog. I got lots of stuff to tell. First, I got bad news. My Pawpaw went to heaven. I really miss him. I been wonderin why he left. I think maybe cause Stoopid Goose was causing Jesus a lot of problems and so Jesus asked Pawpaw to come and help. That is the only thing I can figure out cause Stoopid is probly causing a lot of ruckus.

Well, since Pawpaw went to Heaven, his dog (my cousin) had to come live at our house. His name is Bubba and he is a Basset Hound. That means he is short and fat with long ears that get in the water when he drinks. It kinda makes our water taste like ears. Anyway, me and Bubba are pretty good buds. Cept, sometimes he tries to go to out the door first and I have to remind him that I am the boss. He can be the boss over Rudy and Miracle. But not Puss, cause only Puss is the boss of Puss. Not even Mom.

Let me tell you about Bubba. He is a little weird. He likes to eat the goat's food. And when he runs, his whole body flaps around and he looks like a goob. And he has a hard time jumping up the steps. I think that is cause his legs are only 2 inches long. And his body is 14 feet long and his ears are a mile. He makes me laugh when he barks at the horses. Like they are even scared of him! Puleeze. They know they better mind me.

Well, I need to go for now cause it is time to feed the goats and chickens and chase the horses and find sticks to chew up. I'll be back.

Got a shot in the butt at my Party

OMG! OMG! I am having a real good day! First, me and my dad went and got breakfast. I got a sausage biscuit cause that is my favorite. Chalupa and Rudy got one too even though I told dad they didn't need it.

After we got home, mom fixed some towels in the backseat of her new car and told me and Rudy that we was goin somewhere. YAY! That is the first time I got to ride in the new car. So anyway, me and Rudy got in the backseat. Mom rolled down the back window for me to stick my head out. We all left and when we got to town, Mom didn't stop at Co-Op or at Jack's. She just kept goin! I thought we was goin to Pawpaw's, but she didn't turn there either. She turned down this long curvy road and we went about 5,629 miles. Then we pulled up to this place where some people was. I think it was a party for me! Dad put that string on my collar before we got out. He called it a "leash". I think he did that so I wouldn't lose him around all them people. He kinda wanders away sometimes.

Anyway, when we got out, my Pawpaw and his dog, Bubba, magically appeared! I ain't sure how Pawpaw does them tricks, but he is pretty good. So we walked over to these people and started talkin to 'em. Mom signed some stuff while I introduced myself to them. They thought I was "a hoot". I don't know what that means, but it must be good. I got to meet some other dogs too. There was one that had a LOT of fur. I was so embarrassed cause Rudy was sniffin that dog's hind end. Jeez! Then there was a puppy that was kinda big. And there was one that wouldn't get out of his mom's car. I guess he was mad cause the party wasn't for him.

After I met everyone, this real nice lady came and gave me a shot in the butt. She said I was Good Dog cause I didn't move or nothin. They gave one to Rudy and Bubba too. They was pretty good I guess. Then I got a pretty red heart to go on my collar and another tag that will help me get home if somebody dog-naps me. It was a fun party! We got snacks too. And lots of petting.

When it was time to go, I called shot gun so I got to ride in the front seat all the way home! Dad and Rudy had to ride in the back. Haha!

Imma Chicken Hero

I think chickens are just plain dumb. My mom has some goofy little chickens with funny feathers all over their heads. They look like they have sticky up hair dos. Anyway, they got out of their cage this mornin and was runnin all over the yard. My mom was chasin 'em and hollerin at 'em and they just was runnin from her. See! Dumb! So, mom caught them and put them in another pen and when I counted, there was one missin. Mom said it was prolly gone for good and just to not worry.

I decided to patrol the yard and make sure everthing was ok. I saw that bad little cat, Weagle and I went to see what he was doin. Guess what I found? Yep! That baby chicken! Weagle had been watching him, so I made him leave and I waited right there with him til my mom got over there. She was surprised that I found him and was keepin him safe for her. And she was surprised that Weagle didn't eat him!

So, I am the hero again today. I like bein the hero. I really need a cape!

I got more goats!

I got to tell ya'll about the new goats my mom and dad got. They are crazy! It is a boy, Pedro, and a girl, Bambi, and they are bigger than the little baby goat, Brother. My dad brought them in their pen to show 'em to Brother and I went in to make sure they didn't hurt him. Well, them crazy goats ran around and when I tried to make them go over to Brother, they just fell over like they was dead! I didn't touch 'em or nothin! They just got real stiff and *plunk* fell over. They got back up after a minute and ran some more. My mom and dad was laughing and I am glad they weren't mad at me, cause I thought I had broke 'em and I would be in big trouble. Mom said they are Faintin Goats and that they will do that when they are scared. I think that is just weird.

They got another little goat the other day too. She is a little girl named Burrito and she hops all over the pen like a bunny rabbit. And she hollers for them other goats.

Now we have 4 goats. Brother, Pedro, Bambi and Burrito. The other little baby girl goat died and went to heaven. Her name was Sister. We cried and cried, but now I am watchin them other ones to make sure nothin happens to them.

I gotta go and make the rounds and check on everbody.

Taz

My new babies

Ya'll ain't gonna believe what my Mom and Dad brought me. They went and got 2 little baby goats! They are so dang cute. Mom ain't named 'em yet, so I just call 'em babies.

This is me and the girl baby. She is real sweet. She lets me lick her ears. She is real little and drinks out of a bottle. It's kinda funny, though. The other day, I tasted that bottle and it was a little good and a lot gross. I think Mom ought to put some chocolate in there to make it taste better. I wonder if goats can eat chocolate. I can't cause it is bad for me.

This is me guardin' the baby boy. He is a little bit bigger and he is gettin' little horns on his head! They are all pointy and hurt when he punches me with his little head. He punched Kizzie right in her head and made her so mad. She didn't even speak to him all day! He drinks a bottle too.

You know what else? Them little babies eat grass and sticks! Evertime Mom and Dad take them to their pen, they go in there and eat whatever is growin. Mom said they are s'posed to do that, but I don't believe her. That is just weird.

I better go for now. Them babies are sleepin, so I need to take a nap while I have time. Ya never know when they are gonna wake up hollerin for a bottle.

Taz

I hate babysittin.

Ya'll 'member Shannon? The feller that I used to live with? Well, he got 2 new dogs. Their names is Jasmine and Bullet. They are pit bulls like me and they are still puppies. But they ain't as fun as me or as cute. Anyway, Shannon put them in that old pen he built for me. Ha! They found that hole that makes it easy for them to escape. And guess where they came. YEP. Right over here to my house. And they got to come in the house. My mom and dad musta lost their minds. Member what happened the last time Shannon had a dog? Yeah, I ran away! And stayed here!!!

So them dogs came in here and sniffed around and made Chalupa mad and she fussed and griped the whole time. Kizzie ran and got in the big bed so they couldn't get in it. Rudy stayed close to me and tried to help me watch them bad little puppies. Let me tell you, it ain't easy babysittin. Them puppies tried to love on my mom and I had to make 'em move. Then they ate all the food in my bowl! The little pigs. And they scared Lewie and he ran to hide in the closet. Finally, I just let them play and me and Dad and Rudy sat on the couch and watched them. They wasn't real bad then. They just 'splored the livin room.

After about 10 years and 3 days, Shannon came to get them. He told 'em they wasn't supposed to get out of their pen and they looked like they didn't know what he was talkin about. (They ain't real smart.) Then they ran out to the truck and I heard their momma yellin at em to get in the truck. I don't think Bullet did, cause she was hollerin at him the whole time. I told Shannon he owed me $500 million dollars for babysittin and he said he would pay me tomorrow. I just don't believe him though.

them baby chickens growed up

'Member me telling ya'll about them little baby chickens my mom bought back in the spring? Well, they ain't little no more. They are all big and they think they are so smart. They run around in their pen and scratch and talk to each other. Now mom and dad even got some gooses and weird looking chickens that ain't got no feathers on their necks. They all just act like they are so smart and are so busy. They ain't doing nothin like me. They don't help with the horses and they don't guard the house. I don't think they are good for nothin but scratchin in the dirt.





My mom and dad made them a bigger pen the other day-I had to help them cause they ain't real smart about that stuff. Anyway, we made that bigger pen and let them chickens in there. Now, everday, me and mom and dad and sometimes Weagle go in there and talk to them chickens. Sometimes, they get in my mom or dad's lap and I don't like that. They got sharp beaks and they could peck out somebody's eyeballs. (My girlfriend Bebe told me that) So, today, me and mom and dad was in there talking to them chickens and the ducks and the gooses. Well, I laid down to rest and guess what my mom did?? She put chicken food on me! Then them stoopid chickens started eatin off me! It kinda felt good when the girl chickens ate, but when that boy chichen-a rooster, my mom says-did it, he pecked me hard and that hurt. I yelled at him and he fluffed up his wings. I think he was saying something ugly, but I don't talk chicken, so I ain't sure.





If I go back in there tomorrow, I am gonna tell him that I don't 'preciate him pecking my back like that and he better not do it again. And them gooses, well they better just be nice to me. I know all about gooses now and I ain't takin no crap off of none of them. I'll just bite them in their long old necks. But I can't let my mom and dad know that cause they like them gooses. I don't know why. Everbody knows that gooses are stoopid!





I'll let ya'll know if I have to eat a goose or chicken.

Well, me and my mom have been real busy lately so we ain't been "bloggin" much. I been playing with my friends Ashlynn and Bubba. They are so much fun. That Bubba is a nice kid. He brings me food when I am layin on the couch. And he is always droppin food for me. I think he does it on purpose cause he knows I like all the same stuff as him. Cept bananas. I don't like bananas unless it is in puddin. Anyway, them kids are so much fun. And they learned how to go out that little door that me and Lupa use. Sometimes they sneak out so i go with them. We go down and see the horses and the chickens and I have to guard them kids.

The other day, Ashlynn was makin cupcakes for me and my dad and i was so happy cause I like cupcakes. She would give dad one and when I tried to get a bit, she would scream and say NO! I didn't know why until I finally got to taste it. It wasn't even real! It was made out of cloth! And everbody knows you can't eat cloth cupcakes. Sometimes I think she is a little funny. But when she snuggles up with me and pats me real sweet, I just love her.

Hey everbody. Me and my mom ain't had much time lately to tell ya'll about my 'ventures. I ain't had a lot, but guess what?! I am on Facebook now! I got my own page and I play them games and stuff. I got almost more friends than my mom! And one of my friends is a pretty black dog named Bebe. She has big eyes that are the prettiest I have ever seen. She is my girlfriend! 'Cept I don't get to see her in real life, just on facebook.

I also have a new little brother. His name is Weagle, but they call him Little Puss. He is a mean little cat. He is all orange and he thinks he is a tiger. He gets away with everthing. He is a brat! But if I say anything bad to him, my mom gets on to me. He gets gooshy food, and pieces of mom and dad's food; he gets to sleep on the warm blankets and he gets to smack me. One night, I was layin there asleep beside my Dad when something woke me up. It was that stoopid little cat spattin my dangles! I guess he thought they were his toys or somethin. I told him to stop, but you know, he wouldn't! That just ain't right to spat a fellow's dangles while he is sleeping.

I gotta go for now. I think dad is goin to get us some chicken, so I have to go and make sure he goes the right way. See ya'll later!

Me and my Mom saved the day

Hey, everybody. I got to tell you what happened today! Me and my Mom are heroes. Mostly me, but a little bit mom too.

Ok, so it was time to go feed them crazy horses and the chickens. Mom told me to go get the horses and make them come to their feedin' place. Don't know why she told me, I always do it cause that is one of my jobs 'round here. Anyway, I got them and we was going to feed them. But there is a Momma Chicken down there and she's got little tiny fuzzy babies. I got to counting and there was some missing. Mom heard them crying so she went in the pen to look for them. Guess what? The were in one of their water dishes! Two of 'em, all wet and sad looking. They musta got hot and went for a swim, and then they couldn't get out. They looked really sad.

My Mom picked them up and was talking to them. She dried them off a little bit with her shirt and then we sat with them in the sunshine to help them dry some more. I noticed that they still looked a little dirty, so I gave them a bath. They tasted funny. Kinda like a chicken nugget that fell on the floor. Anyway, after I washed 'em, Mom set them in a pile of their food so they could eat. Now, that Momma Chicken was not even caring about them, so I went over to see why she was ignoring them. Know what? She pecked me on the nose! For no good reason! So I went and sat back with my Mom.

We stayed there for a little while until them babies looked like little fuzzy baby chickens again, instead of little mice with wings. Then Mom put them close to their Momma and they ran over to her and started telling her something. I think they were telling her not to peck me on the nose any more cause I saved their little lives and gave them a bath and all. But I'm not real sure 'cause I don't talk the chicken language.

Well, I gotta go. I am gonna try to get Mom to make me a cape. After all, a good hero always wears a cape!

Taz

dad is coming home!

Hey, everybody. I am so 'cited. My dad has been gone for a whole hundred years and he is coming home tonight! I am so glad cause I am tired of being the boss 'round here. The horses have been bad, the chickens won't go where I tell them and the cats are just plain mean. They have been eatin' all their gooshy food and not even leavin me a little bite. Dobbie has been sneaking around and scaring Miracle and then loving on me. I know she just does it to make me think she loves me, but I know that she is gonna smack me later. She is just a mean cat. And she is stingy with her gooshy food.
Even my Mom has not done what I want. She left me outside last night while she went to work. She said it was cause I chew up stuff, but I think she is just trying to make me sweat. It is just too hot outside to play very much. I like to stay in and lay on the couch in front of the air 'ditioners.
Now she is saying she has to go get ready to go get Dad. I hope she takes me. I have never been to an airport before and I need to see why Dad was there for so long. Sometimes I just don't understand humans. They do crazy stuff.
See ya'll later!

Taz

My Buddy, Leo

I want to tell you about my friend, Leo. He is a cool kid. He gives me treats and stuff. He shares his bed with me too. Sometimes he hogs the bed, but now mom got us bunkbeds and I make him sleep on the top so I can have the bottom all to myself.

This is me and Leo the other day chillin on the couch. He looks like me, huh?

I went to the VET

I been a little sick for a couple of days. I been coughing and gagging, so since Mom and Dad had to take Chalupa to the vet to get her stitches out, they thought it would be good to take me too. I got a pretty new red collar and a matching red leash. I'm not sure why I needed a a leash to pull Dad around with. He usually stays right with me.

When we got there, Mom and Chalupa went in and me and Dad stayed in the car. I think he is afraid of the vet. Or maybe the other animals in there. There was a lot of dogs there today. One little one looked really mean. And there is a cat that lives there and she thinks she is the Queen of the World. She rubs on everyone in there. Even the mean little dogs! I cleaned her ears a little bit, but she wouldn't stay very still.

Finally the called our names and we all went into this little room. Lupa got to sit on the table. I had to stay in the floor. That was not really fair. But I could walk around and visit with the pretty girls that were walking by. And there was a lot of 'em! Anyway, Dr. Thad came in and talked to my mom and dad and Lupa. Then he tried to cut off Lupa's ear with some scissors and my mom held her head so he could do it!!! He kept telling her it was all right, but how can it be all right when somebody is cutting off your ear?? Then he cleaned her ear and looked at her leg and her butt. Kinda weird, but I guess he had to do it. When they put her on the floor, I checked on her ear and it was still there! It musta been magic or something.

After he finished with Lupa it was my turn. He listened to me cough, listened to my heart and petted me a lot. I made sure he did not have any scissors. Then he said he needed to get a sample stool. He went out and I waited on him to bring in the stool. I thought he needed me to sit on a stool so he could look at everything else. But he came back with a stick. Didn't look like any stool I ever saw. He went to my butt and let me tell you something, what he did was just not nice! Mom says we may even be married in some states!! Then he wanted to take my temperature. I opened my mouth, but he went right back to my butt again. I think it is just wrong to cram stuff up a fellow's hiney when he just ain't expecting it. After that time though, I sat down. No more of that stuff.

So after all that, he had to get some blood. Thank goodness he got it from my leg and not the other end. He looked at the blood and said it was good. I don't have heart worms and I don't have butt worms. He gave me some shots and some medicine and told me that I was a good dog and to be careful around the horses cause sometimes they are mean and can kick really hard. He said I was in good shape and could go home.

Since me and Lupa was good and didn't pee on anything or bite the Dr., dad stopped and got us a biscuit for breakfast. I just love sausage. But that yellow rubber stuff ain't so great. I am feeling a lot better, but I am awful tired from having to pull Dad to the Dr and back to the car, so, I think I will take a nap.

Taz

Some sad news

Hello. I have some kinda sad news. Stoopid Goose is gone. Something got him and he is just disappeared. Mom told me that he went to be with Jesus. Don't know why Jesus would want a Stoopid Goose. Seems like that would make heaven not so much fun to have a goose chasing the angels around all over the place. But I guess Jesus needed a goose. Or maybe he sent him to the devil cause he was so mean. Yep, that is probably what happened, now that I think about it some more.

I know that my mom and dad were kinda sad about it, so I have been loving on them a lot. I try to sit really close to them and sleep really close in case they need to hug me and cry. Oh, and I try to make them laugh too. I even let my mom draw a heart 'round my eye. And just so you know, Stampin' Up! markers last a long time on fur.

Momma Goose, Stoopid's girlfriend, must miss him too cause she calls him all the time. And she stayed on the porch all night one night. I think she musta thought he was in here with us, but he wasn't! I don't let gooses in the house. That is just not good manners. Anyway, now when mom and dad are outside, she comes up to them and tells them stuff. I think she is tattling on me, but I am not sure since I don't talk goose language. She better not be telling them where I go when they aren't home. That is just my business and not theirs.

I know that I should be sad about the goose, but I am kinda not. He was mean and he got on my nerves. He was always trying to get between me and my dad. And he even had my Papaw tricked into liking him. But I know he was just mean and ornery and all that. At least somebody 'round here knows the truth!

I gotta go now. The horses made that white stuff come down again and I got to make them run so it will go away. My work is never finished!

Taz

Hey everybody! It has been a long time since my mom has had time to post on my blog. She says she is really busy, but sometimes I think she could be doing other stuff. She doesn't really need to clean the house or sleep.

Let me tell you what happened today. When Mom came in from doing her stuff, her and dad stayed in the house talking. But I noticed that she had left her car window down. That means she wants me to get in and wait on her to take me for a ride! So I got in and waited. And waited. And waited. FINALLY, Dad came out and said that I could go with him to get supper. Woohoo!!

We rode to town with the windows down and the radio turned up. The breeze felt so good on my face. I love warm weather. So I was very good when Dad went into the store and got the food. But I started having that feeling. You know the one. That "gotta go" feeling. But I thought I could wait.

Remember the lesson me and Mom learned about not rolling the wondow all the way down? Dad didn't learn that lesson, so it was all his fault really. We were rolling through town and I really had to go. I had been waiting in the car for a long time before we left. Dad must have known, cause he stopped! So I hopped out of the car and ran to a bush to pee. Dad moved the car and started yelling for me! I think he was afraid somebody would grab me, but I was just peeing! When I got done, I ran back to the car and let him open the door for me. That was really nice of him, huh?

So finally we got back on the road and he was saying stuff like, "are you crazy? What were you thinking?" I though he knew I just had to GO! When we got home he told Mom and she just laughed and laughed! Dad must not have been very mad cause he gave me and Lupa some bones he picked up at the store. So me and her ate and then came in to watch TV.

I went back out to see if the windows were down so we could go somewhere else, but they are all rolled up. Oh well, maybe tomorrow!

Taz

Finally, Fall!

Well, it has been a very, very long summer. I am so glad that it is fall now. 'Cept I don't know what is falling. I been looking at the sky, but I haven't seen anything yet.

My Mom has been really busy and she says she has not had time to help me keep up with my blog. One day, I am gonna learn to type. That'll show her! Then she'll have to get me a laptop too.

Ok, I have been a little busy myself. I have been learning a lot of stuff this summer. I learned not to follow Mom when she leaves. I learned to be the man of the house when Dad is not home. (That is hard, cause there are still boogers out there just waiting to get me!) I learned not to jump on people when they visit, cept sometimes I forget. Oh, and my Mom is teaching me a mean trick. She calls it WAIT. She puts a treat on my nose and says "Wait, wait, wait" forever and ever and ever. Then after about 2 years and 3 days, she says "OK!" and I get to eat the treat. That is a mean trick to me, but she laughs and calls me a good boy, so I let her do it.

I gotta tell you about my new friend! Her name is Ashlynn and she comes to visit me sometimes. She used to be really little and I could not get close to her cause everyone would say, "NO!!!" But now she is bigger and she likes to play with me. She yells for me and I can sit next to her on the couch. She pets me and pokes me and kisses me. Sometimes, when nobody is watching, I give her kisses back. Shhhh! Don't tell her momma. Ashlynn is so fun. I even let her sit on my back and play horsey. She really likes me and not Lupa or the cats. She never pets them, just me. Ha Ha!

Well, it is time for me to go to bed now. Dad is looking sleepy and he can't sleep unless I am next to him. I'll tell my Mom to put pictures on here soon.

Taz

Summer is here!

It is so hot. I don't like it when it is hot. The horses are lazy and don't like to run. It is too hot to chase them anyway. The gooses stay down at the pond, so at least I don't have to put up with Stoopid Goose. The cats stay inside where the cool air is and sometimes they want to get in my cool spot, but I make them move.

My Dad is doing some weird things outside. I think he has finally gone crazy. I didn't do it, it was the goose! Anyway, he goes outside and gets this big, loud machine and takes it inside this fence. Then he walks up and down inside the fence in the dirt. He has some weird stuff in there that he calls "Veggie Tables". I never saw any tables like these before, but I guess he really likes them, cause he goes in there alot. And they must be bad about trying to run away, cause he has some of them tied to stuff AND he keeps the gate closed.

Saturday, he went out there and stayed and stayed and stayed. Finally he came in and he was all wet. Mom made him take a shower. I was worried about him, cause it is hot outside and I think he must have had to chase the Veggie Tables, cause he brought in some green things and put them in the fridgerator. I hope it wasn't Veggie Table poop, cause Leo ate them all! (Leo is the boy that comes here sometimes and calls me his brother or his son. I'll tell you about him one day. He is really fun.)

Finally, Dad sat down and he smelled all good and clean. He said he had more to do for the Veggie Tables, but I am smart! I laid down on him so he couldn't go back outside! Him and mom and me decided to watch movies then. That was cool with me, cause I like popcorn.

Rainy Day

Today is a lazy day. It has been rainy and sleepy. Rain makes my fur flat. And it makes Lupa smell like a wet dog. Glad I don't have that problem.

Since it is a lazy day, I have been laying on the couch, napping. It is great to not have to put up with Stoopid Goose or chase the horses today. I need the break. Granny is out of town and we have been babysitting her dogs, Rudy and Kizzie. I like Kizzie. She is cool and plays with me. Rudy is not my favorite. He is mean to me when I am over there. And once he bit Leo on the nose and he had to go to the People Vet. I was afraid they would "FIX" him while he was there, but I think he just got stitches. It was really scary when it happened! I ran and hid behind my Mom, cause I didn't want to get bit.

I had a tough time with Rudy visiting. I had to gather all my toys and keep them close to me. Don't want his cooties on them. Then I had to eat the food before him, so he wouldn't hog it all. That was tough cause Mom kept refilling the bowl. Then he kept sitting on my Dad and I was afraid he would bite him, and Dad would have to go to the People Vet. But the worst part was that he kept getting on the couch with my Mom and he must have been talking bad, cause when she rubbed his back, he was growling. She thought he was liking it, but I think she didn't understand him, cause it sounded mean to me. But she didn't get bit!

Yesterday, Dad let them out and they ran away to home, so they had to stay there last night and I got petted and loved and spoiled again. Ha Ha! That's what they get. This is my house and my Mom and Dad. I get the spoiling 'round here. I'm the boss. Now I gotta go. Dad went to town and I think he said something about tacos!

Taz

Do I look like a Message Board??

You know what? There are some problems with having white fur and living in a house that has markers. I don't know whose bright idea it was to start this, but some smarty pants people think it is fun to write on me! Just look what they did when that new Harry Potter movie came out!

I don't need glasses! I can see just fine.

Now, I am a pampered dog and I like to have my toenails polished and my fur brushed, but having writing on me does nothing for my street cred. I mean, I have to chase those horses and do you think they take me serious when I have Ho Ho Ho wrote across my forhead? I don't think so. And Stoopid Goose must be really blind cause he tried to pull off my fake glasses. I still have a sore spot on my nose from that. I hate that goose.

And what of some pretty lady dog comes by and sees that? How would I impress her with words all over me? What if she can read?

Sometimes I don't mind it so much. If it is not a lot of writing and it makes me cuter. But when they use the Sharpie and it stays for days and days, it kinda bugs me. Or when they draw smiley faces on my butt. How can anything be intimidated by a dog with a smiley butt?

Maybe I can find those markers and chew them up. But that would probably be "Bad Dog" and I don't want to get in trouble with my Mom. I'll have to think about this one for a while. It helps me think when I chase the horses, so I think I'll go do that. Bye!!

Taz